10 New Year’s Resolutions that never see the light of January 2

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Facebook

No to Facebook

Facebook ISN’T evil.

(But, my crush who posts a selfie every 2 minutes is, my urge to write 250 word reviews of movies is, the ‘Happy page‘ is, the ‘Like’ button is)

Yes… Facebook isn’t evil.

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Alcohol

No to Alcohol/Cigarettes and other boring stuff

But, I don’t ‘drink’.

Secret of Success:

I hate Chemistry and my Chemistry book had a 100-page article (or whatever that nonsense is called) on Alcohol(s) which made me hate Alcohol completely.

Higher Secondary chemistry books would be of utmost help, in addition to other medications, to people who wish to quit the alcohol habit this New Year.

I don’t smoke because:

Cigarettes are too mainstream. (Anything mainstream is out of fashion)

If you wish to de-addict yourself the scientific way click here

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Exercise

Exercising daily and other impossible tasks

A lot of people have been trying this since a few decades ago with little or absolutely no success and stopped even shortlisting the Resolution these years.

This year, in addition to the exercises, I might also hit the gym sometime later (2015’s list, maybe).

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Junk Food

No to Junk food and other irresistible stuff

This has the distinction of being on my New Year’s Resolutions list for 12 consecutive years (Assuming I understood ‘fast food’ was evil at the age of 6).

The number of canteens my college has is 2 and the number of educational supply stores it has is just 1. I don’t like visiting the educational supplies (because I’m allergic to paper) and I don’t want my college’s funds going down either.

So this year I’m not taking the resolution at all. (A proud, contributing student I’ve always been 😀 )

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Studying

Studying and other forms of daydreaming

We all have better things to do. Don’t we?

Like drooling at Miley Cyrus’s latest twerking move, imagining becoming the Prime Minister of our country, preparing dialogues for the imaginary conversations with our imaginary girlfriends and last, and nowhere near the least, trying to get the ‘Freshly Pressed’ image on our blog that does a 😛 every time.

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Assassins Creed

No to Video games and other sensationally awesome things:

Video games aren’t completely useless. Assassin’s Creed taught me how genetic memory can be used to unearth ancestral treasures. Devil May Cry taught me easy ways to defeat legless, metal fitted demons. 

Ask me whether all these are necessary skills in day-to-day monster-free life and I’ll ask you to ‘show’ me ‘i’ . (That meaningless, imaginary ‘i’ which is equal to the square root of  (-1)  )

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Toothbrush

Brush twice/Bath once/Face wash in the evening and other hygienic singularities:

Theses don’t turn up every December. True. But when they do, I just turn them down.

Because:

Early man did not brush even once (or, for the conversation, twice).

Water scarcity is at an all-time high.

“ “

Need I say more?

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Guitar

Allot time for a musical Instrument (In my case, Keyboard)

The problem was… I wanted to learn Western Classical (whose initial grade involves playing childhood sweetheart tunes Baba black sheep, Twinkle Twinkle Little star and London Bridge is falling down. Hardly cute for an 18 year old!).

Yet, ‘Time for Western Classical Music’ is a resolution I’m making  this year.

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pets

Do something that is meaningful:

Getting a pet, adopting a child and helping someone out, all sound heroic.

So ‘Doing something meaningful’ is a resolution  I’m making this year.

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jan1

Sticking to Resolutions:

The first resolution anyone breaks at the beginning of the year is the resolution of ‘sticking to resolutions’. This is the initiator of the chain reaction that completely destroys the Resolution list before one tears the January 1 from the wall-mount Calendar.

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Other precious resolutions that did not make it to the top 10:

  • Cleaning the house regularly
  • NO changing the D.P often/ No silly status updates
  • Maintaining the vehicle in good or noticeable health
  • NO losing stationery, pouches and rulers
  • Being diplomatic when answering telemarketers
  • Attending phone calls

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What are your Resolutions for 2014? (Also, don’t forget to mention if they are serious 😀 )

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😛

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