Horoscope For May

Aries ♈
Stomach related ailments will subside since you will no longer treat your tummy like a garbage can. The family, which was a Mafia term till now, will take a new definition. Promised bonuses and hikes will be deferred at best, if not denied altogether. It is best to avoid unnecessary travel.

Taurus ♉
Seemingly interesting ideas will enter your head. It is best if you do not write them down. Since the stubbornness of Mars is upon you, you will go ahead and embarrass yourself. Some work related changes will overwhelm you in the short term.
Yoga can offer some respite from financial worries. However, even if you sip water while performing Sirsasana, romance is extremely unlikely till the foreseeable future.

Gemini ♊
Saturn, the planet of deception, shines brightly upon you. Though you have denied it in the past, you will experience a natural urge to exhibit your acting/lip-syncing talents to spread happiness and positivity to the world, or so you will say. You will face new challenges at work. Dice based games will excite you.

Cancer ♋
The good news is that any bad omens sent your way from your constellation billions of miles away are blocked by the swift movement of Jupiter not unlike a Tamil hero diving in front of his friend to take the bullet. However, even disbelievers will agree that Jupiter is an infamous gas giant. Now that its giant ass is facing you, it is time to cover your face, for relationship dreams will reek of gas.

Leo ♌
Since Venus and Mars are caught in a compromising position in the sky you will remain in a choke hold of inactivity and boredom. The silver lining of this period is that you will have fewer visits from nefarious guests.

Virgo ♍
Your taste in art will improve drastically and cross linguistic barriers. You will watch everything from Kurosawa films to Spanish TV series. Even songs like Simtangaaran which you dismissed earlier as gibberish will start making sense.

Libra ♎
Though you are the couch potato that spends weekends indoors, you will experience a profound inclination to travel the world. You will be busy watching travel videos and deciding itineraries throughout this month. When normalcy returns, you will remain glued to your couch more than ever.

Scorpio ♏
Nothing explains your situation better than the famous Tamil adage “உனக்கு கட்டம் சரியில்ல”. You will feel hopeless and that your situation will not get better anytime soon. For one of the very few times in life, you are absolutely correct.

Sagittarius ♐
With so many obstacles lined up for you in the coming months, you might make it to the Tokyo Olympics in the 400m hurdles category whenever it begins.

Capricorn ♑
Your days of reckless spending on clothes and other materialistic pleasures are over. This month you will roam around dressed as scantily as a saint. You will slowly lose the temptation of food and put yourself on the fast lane to enlightenment.

Aquarius ♒
You will experience a newfound interest in literature. You will finally sit down to pen that love letter you always wanted to write. You might dust off your shelves and begin reading those books you bought for their attractive covers.

Pisces ♓
Continuing the general trend of life till May, this month will be thoroughly uneventful both in terms of professional and personal life. You will feel so lethargic that lying on your back and propelling yourself with your legs is the only way you will move around.

Chanting Samajavaragamana in the morning and evening might help alleviate stress, especially for non-Telugu speakers.

About the author:

The author, once a disbeliever, had a gradual change of heart after his 7 1/2 sani started around the time he joined college. His research paper titled “Role of Coincidences in Modern Relationships” has been dubbed “the breakthrough of the millennium”. In his free time, the author occupies himself by creating modern art masterpieces and listening to recent soundtracks of A.R. Rahman.

12 Meaningful Reasons You Can Give Your Boss For Work Absenteeism:

An image from Wikimedia Commons

  1. I had better things to do
  2. My Doctor once warned me to avoid places that make me feel suicidal
  3. One word: iDRINK
  4. I have a beautiful wife/ I wished to get ‘promoted’ to fatherhood, at least
  5. My mother used to tell me: “Avoid the company of fools”
  6. The previous day was a Sunday. Statement self-explanatory
  7. For a change, I wanted to intentionally do nothing
  8. My baby’s weekly gift money just surpassed my salary and I wanted to celebrate that
  9. My refrigerator failed (even though it works 6 hours less than I do)
  10. My five year old son knows more manners than you do and I wanted to take time to appreciate that
  11. One word: Cricket
  12. I was busy reading a relatively utopian novel called 1984

Other things that didn’t make it to the list:

  • Dog’s birthday
  • Income Tax Raid
  • Bomb/Flood hoax
  • I come to office only for the Air Conditioner. My wife bought one at home yesterday.

I’ve never worked under anyone and this is just an imagination-driven post.

Nevertheless, I’ve been forced to attend college 😦

Wanna read my other posts? :

10 New Year Resolutions that never see the Light of January 2

20 Days on WordPress: Lessons in Blogging

Also, you can leave your very own reasons as a comment below.

Good Day! Bye!

—————————————————— End of this post —————————————————-


10 New Year’s Resolutions that never see the light of January 2



No to Facebook

Facebook ISN’T evil.

(But, my crush who posts a selfie every 2 minutes is, my urge to write 250 word reviews of movies is, the ‘Happy page‘ is, the ‘Like’ button is)

Yes… Facebook isn’t evil.



No to Alcohol/Cigarettes and other boring stuff

But, I don’t ‘drink’.

Secret of Success:

I hate Chemistry and my Chemistry book had a 100-page article (or whatever that nonsense is called) on Alcohol(s) which made me hate Alcohol completely.

Higher Secondary chemistry books would be of utmost help, in addition to other medications, to people who wish to quit the alcohol habit this New Year.

I don’t smoke because:

Cigarettes are too mainstream. (Anything mainstream is out of fashion)

If you wish to de-addict yourself the scientific way click here



Exercising daily and other impossible tasks

A lot of people have been trying this since a few decades ago with little or absolutely no success and stopped even shortlisting the Resolution these years.

This year, in addition to the exercises, I might also hit the gym sometime later (2015’s list, maybe).


Junk Food

No to Junk food and other irresistible stuff

This has the distinction of being on my New Year’s Resolutions list for 12 consecutive years (Assuming I understood ‘fast food’ was evil at the age of 6).

The number of canteens my college has is 2 and the number of educational supply stores it has is just 1. I don’t like visiting the educational supplies (because I’m allergic to paper) and I don’t want my college’s funds going down either.

So this year I’m not taking the resolution at all. (A proud, contributing student I’ve always been 😀 )



Studying and other forms of daydreaming

We all have better things to do. Don’t we?

Like drooling at Miley Cyrus’s latest twerking move, imagining becoming the Prime Minister of our country, preparing dialogues for the imaginary conversations with our imaginary girlfriends and last, and nowhere near the least, trying to get the ‘Freshly Pressed’ image on our blog that does a 😛 every time.


Assassins Creed

No to Video games and other sensationally awesome things:

Video games aren’t completely useless. Assassin’s Creed taught me how genetic memory can be used to unearth ancestral treasures. Devil May Cry taught me easy ways to defeat legless, metal fitted demons. 

Ask me whether all these are necessary skills in day-to-day monster-free life and I’ll ask you to ‘show’ me ‘i’ . (That meaningless, imaginary ‘i’ which is equal to the square root of  (-1)  )



Brush twice/Bath once/Face wash in the evening and other hygienic singularities:

Theses don’t turn up every December. True. But when they do, I just turn them down.


Early man did not brush even once (or, for the conversation, twice).

Water scarcity is at an all-time high.

“ “

Need I say more?



Allot time for a musical Instrument (In my case, Keyboard)

The problem was… I wanted to learn Western Classical (whose initial grade involves playing childhood sweetheart tunes Baba black sheep, Twinkle Twinkle Little star and London Bridge is falling down. Hardly cute for an 18 year old!).

Yet, ‘Time for Western Classical Music’ is a resolution I’m making  this year.



Do something that is meaningful:

Getting a pet, adopting a child and helping someone out, all sound heroic.

So ‘Doing something meaningful’ is a resolution  I’m making this year.



Sticking to Resolutions:

The first resolution anyone breaks at the beginning of the year is the resolution of ‘sticking to resolutions’. This is the initiator of the chain reaction that completely destroys the Resolution list before one tears the January 1 from the wall-mount Calendar.


Other precious resolutions that did not make it to the top 10:

  • Cleaning the house regularly
  • NO changing the D.P often/ No silly status updates
  • Maintaining the vehicle in good or noticeable health
  • NO losing stationery, pouches and rulers
  • Being diplomatic when answering telemarketers
  • Attending phone calls


What are your Resolutions for 2014? (Also, don’t forget to mention if they are serious 😀 )

—————————————————-End of the post——————————————————-